SantaBanta Universal Humour for August 27, 2019

The Fourth Ape

The Fourth Ape

Braggers Gonna Brag

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a good appetite because they cut off my electricity this morning."

देश का असली टैलेंट!

बोर्ड परीक्षा में ही मिलता है भारत का छिपा हुआ टैलेंट!

प्रश्न था रानी लक्ष्मी बाई के बारे में चार लाइन लिखो!

आज के स्टूडेंट का जवाब:

जब कन्या अपने पिता के घर होती है, "रानी" बन के रहती है!

पहली बार ससुराल जाती है, "लक्ष्मी" बनकर जाती है!

और ससुराल में काम करते-करते "बाई" बन जाती है!

इस तरह लड़कियाँ "रानी-लक्ष्मी-बाई" बन जाती हैं!

और फिर वो पति को अंग्रेज समझ कर बिना तलवार के ही इतना परेशान कर देती हैं कि बेचारा वो पति अंग्रेज न हो कर भी "अंग्रेजी" लेना शुरू कर देता है!

Picture SMS

Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up.<br/> Because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**!

Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up.
Because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**!

Have you ever realized that 9 minutes on the snooze are a lot faster than 9 minutes on the microwave?

Have you ever realized that 9 minutes on the snooze are a lot faster than 9 minutes on the microwave?

The reason why moms always know where everything is...<br/> because they're the ones moving our things all the time!

The reason why moms always know where everything is...
because they're the ones moving our things all the time!

Clean SMS

Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up.
Because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**!

Have you ever realized that 9 minutes on the snooze are a lot faster than 9 minutes on the microwave?

The reason why moms always know where everything is...
because they're the ones moving our things all the time!

Hindi SMS

डॉक्टर: दर्द कहाँ पर है?
संता: अगर फीस कम करोगे तो बताता हूँ वरना खुद ढूंढ लो!

2 मिनट में किसी को भी वश मे करें...
सरल वशीकरण मंत्र...
.
.
.
.
.
.
"शराब पियेगा क्या?"

सोच रहा हूँ अपनी अंग्रेजी वाली मास्टरनी पर केस कर दूँ
ये hmmm...तो उन्होंने मुझे पढ़ाया ही नही कभी!



from SantaBanta SMS https://ift.tt/2MCMeEt

No comments