SantaBanta Universal Humour for April 7, 2020

Be Aware, Be Safe

More Visuals ..

BBQ Season

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... 1. The woman buys the food. 2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: 4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine... 5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: 7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine.... 8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. 9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: 10. Everyone praises the MAN and thanks HIM for his cooking efforts. 11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

More Jokes ..

Picture SMS

"Save the planet" is just an expression of arrogance. The planet was here before we arrive, and will kick us out if we don't respect it.

Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.

Paradoxically, people turn out to be useless only when you try to use them.

More Picture SMS ..

Clean SMS

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem!

#StayatHome Tip: We all need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator!

This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came to my house, told my dog... we laughed a lot!

Hindi SMS

टेस्ट मैच की तरह दिन कट रहा है... और साल है 20-20

ताली और थाली पीटने से जो वायरस मर गए थे! मोमबत्ती से उनका दाह संस्कार भी तो करना था!

श्रीमतीजी बोली: तारीफ करो मेरी! मैं बोला, "ये हल्की-हल्की मूंछे अच्छी लगती हैं तुम पर!

Quotes

"Save the planet" is just an expression of arrogance. The planet was here before we arrive, and will kick us out if we don't respect it.

Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.

Paradoxically, people turn out to be useless only when you try to use them.

from SantaBanta SMS https://ift.tt/2VaTh8V